Chi's words of from the heart
Abyss, Looking through the glass, a weapon of my
own making, Is their love?, Bittersweet: the two sides of you, Turmoil: the war within, Perfect Illusions
Abyss
I feel so desperately sad right now
pure unadulterated melancholy sadness..
it penetrates my entire being, filling every pore, every cell with nothing but
an emptiness
it seeps into all that is around me, it infects the world in which I live in
turning all I know into a grey, desolate landscape
all light is covered, all hope extinguished, I walk through this world with no
path, no road, no goal...even self preservation has decided to flee
nothing matters
I want a path
I have none
We first met
at a game of chance, but there exists too many Parallels between us to say that
meeting was chance itself. Can Fate be so cruel as to show you the perfect
entity through a Pane of glass? My mind says "distance." It says to
stay away. My Heart cries for your presence. It screams for the smile you bring
with you. Your every word tells me I'm special. Your Every action breathes
comfort. Safety. Security. Hope. All are Seen as I glimpse into your beautiful
eyes. Is she angelic? Possibly Heaven must weep for the loss of one such as
you. God Himself sheds tears whenever your radiant smile is not showing. Life
in its purest form pulsates through your body. Touching all That has the
pleasure of coming into contact with you. Vitality. Health. Pure energy. They
are all contained within a Five foot frame.
Amidst the
sunshine, you bring, you leave a shadow, sadness. We, who were fortunate enough
to have met you, are sad to see you Leave. You pass through our lives, leaving
a longing. A longing To see you, a longing to touch you, to once more hear your
Heavenly voice. Dearest of Angels, you've captured my heart. Amidst my apathy,
I feel a longing. A longing to be accepted by You. It is an irrational,
uncontrollable feeling, but it exists Nonetheless. Amid my nothingness, my
uncared, you create a Desire. My desire is tempered by a harsh reality, yet I
hold a Hope. In the end it’s that hope that keeps me smiling.
A weapon
of my own making
A note from the author: "This was written about my ex-girlfriend,
but recent events have caused me to see things anew. And even in this, my words
they hold true."
The blade of this dagger
drips blood from its tip.
I rid myself of this bane
as my reality slips.
The crimson is pooling
as the blood's dripping here,
I look at the past.
and I see all as clear.
I gave her the dagger,
I put the blade to my heart.
I cry out in pain,
I resist from the start.
Why do you do this?
Why do we fight?
As the blade digs deeper,
I try to take flight.
No more will you hurt me,
No more will I cry.
I'll fight of this pain,
I'll fight 'till I die.
I failed in my mission,
It hurts me to say.
I allowed her to hurt me,
I gave her the way.
Is there love?
I always believed that love existed
Never had I known what it felt like
How it can change you in ways you never dreamed
How it brings both happiness and pain untold
And burns you all the way down to your very soul
It will take you to the highest mountain and the deepest sea
Into blissful paradise and to the fires of hell
It can complete you and rip your heart apart
It can heal the soul and destroy it at the same time
It can fulfill your every fantasy or your every nightmare
Is this what love is all about? Is there love?
To taste the love of one…I think no
Bittersweet: The two sides of you
A brightly shining Angel
A Demon with a blade.
All are present in the one
at who's feet my heart is laid.
A darkness that is deeper
than the deepest ebony.
A light that shines so brightly
that it burns inside of me.
A sweetly tasting water.
A bitter burning flame.
If I am hurt by touching you,
It's me that is to blame.
Brightly shining
in the Darkest night
she comes to me
with a wondrous light.
As sweet as Silence
As pure as Peace
My love for you dies,
when my breath doth cease.
Turmoil: The War Within
'Tis a foul fate to be at war with oneself. To have one's heart
battle one's mind. It weakens him. It brings him to his knees as it
lifts him to his feet. He is a raging chaos, a turmoil unceasing.
He bleeds from a wound he cannot see, nor feel and what flows from this wound
is his strength and will. These he bleeds onto the ground, and it leaves
him empty and whole at the same instant. He is empty because his heart is
not sated, and whole because his mind has learned to tell his heart is yearns
for nothing. Does he crave? Does he yearn? Or does he regret?
Daily it rages, a battle unlike any other, a constant struggle to see who
rules. Will your mind rule your heart, or your heart rule the mind?
In the end he chooses whether to lead or follow. Does he follow his heart or
let his mind lead your heart down the path it chooses? As his age of
struggle comes to its pinnacle, he realizes that he will be made
stronger. Not whole nor empty, but stronger, strengthened. He will
guide his heart with his thoughts, and let his heart create the thoughts that
are its guide. Through his torment, he hell this
Perfect Illusions
Walkin
along this path
The
sky is bright and clear.
I
ponder what it would be like
To
have you standing here.
Fingers
laced in a lover's grip,
A
smile on your face.
With
you here by my side
I
want no other place.
Side
by side, hand in hand,
We
travel to the brink.
Gazing
deeply in your eyes,
I
feel like i could sink.
Simple
bliss pervades my soul
And
happiness my mind.
Souls
entwined in lover's embrace,
There
is no greater find.
His
gaze drift to the sky,
His
mind begins to stray.
Looking
back, his hand is empty.
She's
vanished! Gone! Away!
Chi's email, leave questions, comments, murderous syncopation rage?
Suprazn69@hotmail.com